Month: June 2018

How do we listen?

Frequently, we listen to Respond. Listening just enough that we get the topic. Eager to jump in with a related story. To shift the focus to ourselves. Passive listening; just enough to preserve a minimum of social decorum.

Sometimes, we listen to Comprehend. Not jumping in, but politely hearing all of the words. Getting the surface meaning. Nodding and agreeing. The beginning of active listening.

Occasionally, we listen to Understand. Listening not just to comprehend, but also to understand the point of view of the other. Perhaps to fell what they are feeling. To empathize. We begin to give back to the listener, by beginning to join them in their journey.

Infrequently, we listen to Appreciate. We give deep thought not just to what our friend is saying and feeling, but to understand the journey behind the story. To imagine what they had to learn, what they had to experience, what they had to feel to be able to tell the story they are telling.

Rarely, we listen with Love. We comprehend, understand, and appreciate the other and view them in their full humanity as someone worthy of love, not in spite of their faults, but because of them. To know that their strength can not exist without their vulnerability. And to recognize the briefness of our time in the Long Now.

How will you listen today?

 

1992 and 1996 US Swimming Olympian Mark Henderson (100 Fly, 400 Medley Relay) has started a new app and website that seeks to provide critical mentorship and advice to young athletes. He imagines a world where Michael Phelps can personally help and inspire a young swimmer who asks a question through the app, and provide the confidence and direction that may make the difference in that athlete’s career and life.  N.B.  Amy and I both knew Mark during our high school and college years – he is a great person (and was an absolute beast in the pool!).

A former Google product ethicist explains the ways that internet companies use psychology to drive your behavior, while preserving in your mind the illusion of freedom of choice.  Why it is important – large media companies make money by selling your attention (time).  How you structure your media consumption is important – do you use media to produce or to consume? If the latter, you are the product being sold. If the former you may regain control (but you are still being sold). Understanding how they do this may help us regain some control.

In this brief article by Zat Rana, he builds a case for his opinion that the future belongs to the polymaths – people who are expert generalists and can see problems and connect solutions across increasingly broad domains – rather than specialists who go very deep on very narrow problems. Part of his case is that the more specialized the problem, the easier it is to build AI to solve it, making the specialist’s job lose value. The good news – as Walter Isaacson said in a recent podcast, anyone can be a daVinci or a Franklin because the key skill of the polymath is an intense curiosity, and to be curious is simply a choice.

Charles Chu offers this thought-provoking essay on the importance of education. An important question that he asks… is the correlation between higher education and a country’s GDP because education causes increased productivity? Or does a wealthy country have more time and money to spend on advanced education? Charles suggests that the course of action that is best for each individual may not be the choice that is best for the group.

Default positions inform the way we see the world and the way we react to events and people.

Is your default position self or selfless?

… trust or distrust?
… belief or disbelief?
… curiosity or skepticism?
… possible or impossible?
… give or take?
… entitled or grateful?
… arrogant or humble?

When we are unsure how to respond to a situation, we fall back to our default positions. The good news is that we get to choose those positions. All it takes is one decision.